Letting Go When You Don’t Want To

Let’s say that you are either in the midst of divorce or just getting through one. You know that you need to let go, but something won’t let you. No one can tell you when or how to let go of your spouse, but it’s something that has to be done in order to allow yourself to move on and be happy. If you are finding it difficult to loosen the grip you have on your ex, or the grip they have on you, here are some tips that will help motivate you to start moving on.

1. Grieve

Too often, we don’t give ourselves permission to grieve following a divorce. Divorce is a loss, and it is a loss that you should give yourself time to feel. Go ahead and be sad, mad or depressed. Sit on the couch and wallow in it. Just don’t wallow for too long.

2. Talk It Out

If you need to, see a professional. You may think that your friends and family are enough, but chances are they are lacking what a professional can provide: a way to work through your feelings efficiently. A therapist can provide you with tools that your friends and family can’t, no matter how good they are at listening.

3. Know Where You Want to Be

One of the best things you can do to start moving forward is to decide where you want to be a year from now, three years from now and even five years from now. Nothing is quite as motivating as making a plan for your future. Construct a vision of your future you in your mind and start taking steps to making those visions a reality.

4. Remember It Right

Some people get stuck not being able to let go because they choose to remember the good things and not the bad. Remember that you are getting, or have gotten, divorced for a reason. Don’t sugar coat things in your mind. Even if you’ve been blindsided by a divorce, clearly things weren’t all roses.

5. Purge

If you have things that remind you of your divorce, get rid of them. If you have things that your ex refuses to take possession of, get rid of them. You don’t have to throw all of these items away, but you can pack them in a box and stick them in the basement, attic or the shed.

If you feel as though you can’t let go of your spouse, ask yourself why. It’s difficult to move on after a divorce to be sure, but staying stuck in a relationship that isn’t working can be far worse. Use the tips above to let go and move on with your new single life.

If you need assistance with a divorce in Orlando, reach out to our team. We are here to help you, and we will fight to make sure that your settlement is a fair one. Call today to schedule your free case evaluation.

About the Author
Andrew Nickolaou, Esq., B.C.S., is a founding partner at Bernal-Mora & Nickolaou, P.A. He practices almost exclusively in divorce, marital and family law. Andrew and his partner, Ophelia Bernal-Mora, Esq., B.C.S., joined forces in March 2016 to form the unique and boutique husband and wife family law team at Bernal-Mora & Nickolaou, P.A. Together, Andrew and Ophelia take a practical and team-based approach to all of their cases and clients to deliver the highest quality experience and representation.
Andrew Nickolaou

Andrew Nickolaou, Esq., B.C.S., is a founding partner at Bernal-Mora & Nickolaou, P.A. He practices almost exclusively in divorce, marital and family law. Andrew also handles record expungements and sealings. If you have questions about this article, contact Andrew today by clicking here.