People divorce every day. Once-happy families find themselves dealing with overwhelming emotions, and getting through the breakup may seem impossible. It’s normal to feel this way and there are ways you can help your family recover. You may be able to handle things on your own and move your family forward, or you may need therapy for yourself or your children. Here are some ideas to help your family recover after a divorce in Orlando.
Moving On From an Orlando Divorce
Your family dynamic will definitely change during and after a divorce. There is nothing you can do about that fact. As a family, there were two parents. As a divorced couple, you will be splitting time with your children, maintaining two households and more. Coping is possible with a few strategies.
1. Maintain a Routine
Children need routine and so do adults. It’s human nature. Try to keep things as close as they were before the divorce. Maintain bedtimes and other typical routines in the home. Make sure kids get to practice, you attend games and performances and all of the other things you did before you decided to divorce. Try to keep your kids’ lives as “normal” as possible.
2. Stay Positive
There’s nothing to say that you can’t have a breakdown in private or let your children know that you are stressed out, but try to maintain a positive outlook as much as you can. Talk to your kids about the way things will be from now on and keep a positive spin. Don’t make up stories or lie to your kids, but try not to let your emotions make everything seem bad or stressful.
3. Keep Opinions Private
Never talk negatively about your spouse in front of your kids. No matter the reason for your split, outside of abuse or violence, don’t let your kids know that you may be harboring ill feelings. Your spouse is still their parent and that relationship should be nurtured. You never want your children to feel as though they have to pick sides. Save your negative opinions for those talks you have with other adults.
4. Encourage Relationships
As positive as you stay, your children may feel abandoned by the spouse who left. Encourage a relationship between your children and your ex. Be flexible about visitation, ask your spouse to attend events and let your children call, text or even facetime whenever they want to. You may not want anything to do with your spouse in the immediate future, but do everything you can to foster a healthy relationship between them and the children. (This is, of course, if circumstances like abuse are the cause for the divorce.)
5. Seek Help
If you find yourself struggling to function, holding onto feelings of animosity or even slipping into depression, you may find that a therapist can help. Your children will be healthier when you take care of yourself. Don’t hesitate to seek the advice of a counselor or professional therapist if you feel that you could be handling the divorce in a better way.
Therapy Can Be a Big Help
You may not be the only one in the divorce that needs therapy. It’s important to recognize when your children may need professional help. There is nothing wrong with seeking professional assistance during and after a divorce. Your goal should be for everyone to make it to the other side as healthy as possible, both physically and emotionally. Here are signs that your children may need therapy:
1. Changes Last for Weeks
Every child experiences heightened emotions now and again, especially during an emotional event like a divorce. They may cry when the topic comes up, or they may become angry at the thought of having to go spend time with the parent they believe to be at fault for the split. Those things are typical.
However, if your child’s newly emerging emotions persist over weeks instead of days, they may need professional help in dealing with those feelings. Pay close attention to your child’s emotional or behavioral changes to determine if they are transient or persistent.
2. Interference With Functioning
When your child’s emotions or behaviors start to impede their typical functioning, it’s time to seek professional help. Your once neat child may become disorganized and messy, their grades may start to fall and they may lose enjoyment in things they once thought fun. If you notice these things in your child and they aren’t sharing their feelings with you, a therapist can help.
3. Concerns from Others
Your trusted friends and family members may begin to express concern with your child’s emotional stability or behavioral patterns. This could indicate that it is time to seek assistance. You trust these people for a reason, so you shouldn’t brush their thoughts and feelings away. If someone approaches you and expresses concern for your child, you should listen to them because they are only trying to help.
4. Changes in Eating or Sleeping Patterns
A child with a healthy appetite may suddenly lose interest in food. A child who previously seemed to rarely eat may seem insatiable. Sleep patterns may change or nightmares may begin. If these things last longer than a few days, a therapist may be able to help your child cope.
5. Criminal Behavior
Any type of criminal behavior that your child develops should be an immediate indicator that therapy should be sought. Issues like stealing, vandalism and physical assaults are not things to ignore even for a moment. Your child may get off easy with the police if they are caught, but these things could be signs of a larger problem.
Not all children have a difficult time with divorce, but many do. Your child may not react in a typical way. If you find that your child needs more help than you can provide, don’t hesitate to seek professional help.
Speak with an Orlando Divorce Attorney Today
If you need assistance with your divorce in Orlando, please reach out to our experienced team. We will speak with you to discuss your needs and goals and tell you how we can help you. Call our office today to schedule a free case evaluation.