Your parents have been through it. Maybe you’ve watched your friends deal with it. The ugly divorce. No matter how you’ve experienced it, it has tainted your view of splitting up a marriage. Now that you are facing your own break-up, you are feeling anxious and overwhelmed at the thought of going to battle.
Here’s the truth: divorces don’t have to be a war. Few divorces are free from emotional turmoil, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t keep things civil. An amicable divorce is possible. Here’s how.
1. Stay Away from the Peanut Gallery
When you are going through a divorce, everyone you meet will have an opinion to offer. Don’t be swayed by the opinions and advice of others. Just because somebody’s sister’s cousin’s best friend made out big in their divorce because they fought tooth and nail doesn’t mean that’s the right avenue for you. Kindly thank people for their well-intentioned advice, and then change the subject.
2. Be Realistic
If you start out believing that you are entitled to the house, the car, the retirement plan and all of your joint assets, you’re going to be disappointed. You’re also going to waste time fighting for things that you don’t deserve. Be realistic. If you want your divorce to be amicable, you can’t try to take the shirt off your soon-to-be ex’s back.
3. Stick to Reason
Make up your mind at the outset that you are going to be reasonable, even if your spouse loses it. If your spouse has a moment of insanity, let it go. It’s understandable to get angry from time to time during a divorce, but it’s how you handle those emotions that will dictate how amicable the split is.
4. Don’t Seek to Punish
Deep down in your heart of hearts, you may want your spouse to suffer. Even just a little bit. It’s normal. Don’t let that dictate how you split. Take your feelings for what they are and keep your eyes on the end goal. Don’t fight for the cat you hated just so your spouse can’t have it. Don’t argue over the blender for the sake of arguing. You’re not in this to make anyone’s life worse; your goal is to make your life better.
5. Proceed Slowly
No matter how badly you want to be divorced, don’t rush the process. You’re only going to feel pressured (and stressed) if you put your divorce on a time table. You aren’t going to be divorced tomorrow. Take it one day at a time and one decision at a time. When you make a promise to yourself to move slowly, you will make better choices throughout the process and hopefully avoid an abundance of confrontation.
If you need assistance or advice regarding a divorce in Orlando, reach out to our office. We will arrange a consultation and review your options with you. Our attorneys are experienced in Florida divorce law and can offer you the guidance you need. Call today or browse our website for more information about our firm.