When people go through a divorce, friends and family are quick to chime in with their personal stories of marriage gone bad. Your best friend will regale you with stories of how she got everything but the kitchen sink when her marriage ended. Your well-meaning co-worker will chime in with her own advice as will your aunt, your grandparents, your parents and your third-cousin twice removed. You get the picture.
While some of the advice you receive will be appropriate and helpful, other tidbits will leave you shaking your head in disbelief. Here is some divorce advice that you shouldn’t follow.
1. Take Him (or Her) For Everything
You are ending your marriage so that you don’t have to live with your partner anymore, not so you can leave them destitute. Trying to take your spouse for everything will only lengthen the divorce process and, in reality, a judge will never grant your decree. No matter how angry you are, you should try to keep things fair. You should walk away from the marriage with your fair share of assets.
2. Hire a Shark
This goes along with number one. When someone tells you to hire a “shark” for an attorney, nod along to show that you’re listening and then do your own thing. While you certainly need an attorney that will help you and ensure that you get what you deserve, you don’t need one who is going to ruthlessly go after your ex. It’s more important to hire an attorney you feel comfortable with.
3. Get Over It Quickly
When someone tells you to “get over it already,” keep this in mind: they are simply trying to tell you that they don’t like seeing you angry or upset. This person has good intentions, but they don’t know how you feel. Going through a divorce is similar to experiencing a death. Take your time to mourn your loss, and don’t let well-intentioned friends and family make you feel guilty about your feelings.
4. Don’t Talk to Your Ex
You and your ex got married for a reason. Once upon a time, you enjoyed each other’s company and shared life goals. Don’t assume that you can never speak with your ex again once you have split. You may be better as friends than you were as a couple, and you could be missing out on a great opportunity. You decide if you want to develop a different relationship with your ex and do what you feel is best.
5. Don’t Expect Your Divorce to Be Friendly
Your divorce doesn’t have to be a horrible experience simply because it’s a divorce. You can certainly expect your divorce to be amicable— this happens every day. If you enter into your divorce process with the right frame of mind and your spouse does the same, you can split on relatively good terms.
If you need assistance with a divorce in Orlando, reach out to our office. We are here to assist you in making sure your breakup is equitable. Call today to schedule a consultation and learn more about how we can help you.